Actual School Excuse Notes
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Please excuse me for being absent last week. I am in pursuing my life's dream and training to become a Master Burger Flipper at McDonald's.
Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds.
I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't!
Please excuse my daughter for being late. Her broom won't start so I had to send it back to Salem for repairs!
I'm sorry but my baby sitter flushed my homework down the toilet.
I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.
I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!