So a man goes to eat at a fancy restaurant. He's never been there before and is excited for a nice meal. The very first thing he does when he sits down is accidentally knock his spoon onto the floor with his elbow. To his surprise a waiter promptly picks up the dirty spoon and gives him a clean one right out of his shirt pocket.
"Wow, you guys all carry spoons in your pocket?" he asked.
"Well sure." the waiter replies. "We had an efficiency consultant in last week and he told us we could increase overall productivity by 3.5% by carrying fresh spoons in our pockets so now we all do it."
"Wow that's impressive," the man says. "By the way, I should let you know that you have a piece of string hanging out of your fly."
"Oh we all do!" the waiter says. "The consultant said we were wasting a lot of time washing our hands so he told us to tie this piece of string to ourselves. So when I need to go, I just use the string. Since I never actually touch myself, there's no need to wash my hands!"
"I see." Says the man. "So how do you get your penis back into your pants?" he asks.
"Well. I don't know about these these other guys, but I use the spoon."
Submitted by: Rob