Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Girl

* Free dinners.

* You can cry without pretending there's something in your contact.

* Speeding ticket? What's that?

* You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports.

* If you're a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being.

* A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.

* In high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned.

* If you have to be home in time for Ally McBeal, you can say so, out loud.

* If you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling.

* If you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup.

* If you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser.

* You could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.

* Brad Pitt.

* You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.

* You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clippers.

* When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.

* If the person you're dating is much better at something than you are, you don't have to break up with him.

* If you think the person your dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him.

* If you don't shave, no one will know.

* If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.

* You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

* You can dress yourself.

* Your hair is yours to keep.

* If you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you're really chic.

* You don't have to pretend to like cigars.

* You'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything.

* If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot.

* You're rarely compelled to scream at the TV.

* You and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share your feelings.

* If you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty.

* Sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need.

* Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in your teeth.

* When you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good thing.

* Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.

* If you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it.

* You'll never regret piercing your ears.

* You can fully assess someone just by looking at his or her shoes.

* You'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra.

* You don't have hair on your back.

* If anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get implants.

* You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.

* If you have big ears, no one has to know.

* You can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny.

* You can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on Jerry Springer.

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