Dictionary of Dating

DATING:

The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

EASY:

A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT:

A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND:

A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE

A woman's feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

IRRITATING HABIT:

What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

NYMPHOMANIAC:

A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

SOBER

A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

ATTRACTION:

The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:

What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

LAW OF RELATIVITY:

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

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