Short Teacher Jokes

Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.

School Secretary: Who is this?

Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Mother: How do you like your new teacher?

Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one!

Son: I can't go to school today.

Father: Why not?

Son: I don't feel well

Father: Where don't you feel well?

Son: In school!

Mother: How did you find school today?

Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?

Pupil: Not very much!

What would happen if you took the school bus home?

The police would make you bring it back!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.

So what's so great about that?

It's snowing outside!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!

Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

Pupil: I get up early!

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?

Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!

Mother: How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Mother: Does your teacher like you?

Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X's on my test paper!

What did you learn in school today?

Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?

Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.

Class: Hooray

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

Father: How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

What are you going to be when you get out of school?

An old man!

Student 1: (to female teacher) Can you hold on to my wallet for me while we take the exam? There may or may not be money in it.

Teacher: I can't be bought!

Student 2: Yes, but can you be rented for a little while?

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