You trim your beard and find a French fry.
You use a piece of bread as a napkin.
You wear overalls to save on the cost of shirts and underwear.
Your birth announcements included the words "rug rat".
Your car alarm eats dog food.
Your car burns more oil than gas.
Your flashlight holds more than four batteries.
Your horse can count higher than you.
You think Hamlet is on the McDonald's breakfast menu.
Your kids are going hungry tonight because you had to see your maw run her car at the dirt track race.
Your dad says, "Let's hit the road for dinner," and then grabs a shovel.
You ever called your sister "Mom" and didn't have to correct yourself.
The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
You're in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed.
You've ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses.
Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.