You Know You Have a Bad Lawyer When...

- He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.

- He tells you that he has never told a lie.

- When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

- A prison guard is shaving your head.

- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

- A big sign in his office says: "Don't ask me."

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