The Top Ten Reasons Why Everyone Should Celebrate Hanukkah

10. No big, fat guy getting stuck in your chimney

9. Cleaning wax off your menorah is slightly easier than dismantling an 8-foot tall fir tree

8. Compare: chocolate gelt vs. fruitcake

7. You get to learn cool new words like "Kislev" and "far-shtoonken-ah"

6. No brutal let-down when you discover that Santa Claus isn't real

5. Your neighbors are unlikely to complain about how your menorah is blinding them senseless

4. It's like a big reunion when everyone gathers at the Chinese restaurant on Christmas Eve

3. In a holiday character face-off, Judah Macabee could kick Frosty's butt

2. No need to clean up big piles of reindeer poop off your roof

And the Number One reason why everyone should celebrate Hanukkah is:

1. None of that Naughty-Nice Stuff EVERYONE GETS LOOT!!!

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