Q. Why doesn't a fire chief look out the window in the morning???
A. Because then he wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon.
The firefighter climbs the ladder to the bedroom of a burning house, and there he finds a curvaceous brunette, "Ah", he says, "you are the third pregnant girl I've rescued this month".
"But, I'm not pregnant!"
"You're not rescued yet!"
Q. How do you put out a fire?
A. Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief.
Q. How can you tell when a firefighter is dead????
A. The remote control slips from his hand.
Two fellows were sitting in a coffee shop...suddenly the Town's Fire Alarm went off ... one jumped up and headed for the door ... his friend shouted, "Hey, Tom, I didn't know you were a fireman!"
Tom replied, "I'm not, but my girlfriend's husband is..."
Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
If H 2 0 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K 9 P
Why do firemen wear "red" suspenders? To hold up their pants. Duh.
There is a report that a 2 seater private plane has crashed into a cemetary in Poland. The fire department has reported recovering over 300 bodies and are still digging.
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and 3 to chop a hole in the roof.
Why should you avoid using the bathroom after the chief? Two words: Butt pimples!!
A blonde calls this rural fire department all excited. She says, "Come quick my barns on fire, my barn's on fire." The dispatcher says, "Calm down now just tell us how to get there." She says, "Oh, don't you have that big red truck anymore?"
Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them?
A. Hosea and Hoseb
Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn't much left.
A fire chief came home early one day and finds his wife relaxing in bed. All looks well till he notices a cigar in the ash tray. He becomes furious and yells, "Where did that cigar come from?"
A voice from under the bed says, "Havana!"