A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man lets rip a fart.
Wifey rolls over and growls, "What in God's name was that?"
Man says, "TOUCHDOWN, I'm ahead, 7 to nothing!!!"
A few minutes later the wife lets rip a Scorcher.
Husband says, "Crikey, what was that?"
She replies "Touchdown, tie score."
The man lays there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he craps in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."