Short Christmas Jokes

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..!

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?

They both drop their needles!

What's Christmas called in England?

Yule Britannia!

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Thanks, I'll never part with it!

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?

Beacause a little water ends both of them!

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pineapple!

What do you give a train driver for Christmas?

Platform shoes!

What did the big candle say to the little candle?

I'm going out tonight!

Whats happens to you at Christmas?

Yule be happy!

How long does it take to burn a candle down?

About a wick!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day?

Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter "D"!

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Santa Claustrophobia!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents?

Santa Paws!

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?

Because it soots him!

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus!

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down?

Stacks!

Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve?

Because he's Sooty!

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