Jokes From Children

Wise man once say: Man who laugh last not get joke. (James, age 12)

Why do giraffes have long necks?

So they don't smell there stinky feet. (S.C., age 9)

What do you call a kid that is good, but breaks things?

Smashing! (Natanya, age 8)

What is a frog's favorite drink?

Croaka-Cola. (George, age 5)

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because it would be a foot!! (Emily)

Why did the cat sit on the computer?

To keep an eye on the mouse. (Kayleigh, age 12)

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He had no guts. (Mallory, age 10)

A man was sent to jail, and he really wanted to get out so he dug a hole under the ground until he got to a school playground. He was really happy so he shouted, "I am free!"

A little girl said, "So what, I am four. I am older."

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck! (Devon, age 10)

Where do cows go to on Saturday nights?

To the mooovies. (Hannah, age 9)

What do you feed an invisible cat?

Evaporated milk. (Courtney, age 11)

What's a dog plus a football player?

A golden receiver. (Mackenzie, age 9)

What is black and white and green and black and white?

Two zebras fighting over a pickle

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

A string walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry we dont serve strings here."

So the string goes outside puts on a hat and tie goes back in and the bartender says, "WE DONT SERVE STRINGS HERE!"

So the string goes outside takes off the hat and tie, tossles and messes his hair. He goes inside again and the bartender says, "Hey aren't you the same string from before?"

And the string replies, " No, I'm a frayed knot.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, Doctor, I've got a strawberry growing out of my head!"

And the doctor replied, "I'll give you some cream for that." (Samantha, age 10)

Why didn't the skeleton go to the movies?

He had nobody to go with. (Justin, age 8)

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

You're under a vest. [Eilidh, age 11]

What did the duck tell the waitress?

Just put it on my bill!

Why do geese make lousy drivers?

All they do is honk!

Why did the fly fly?

Because the spider spied her. (Allianna, age 10)

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?

Because he was in a coffin. (Josh, age 9)

A police officer saw a lady with a penguin. The police said< "Take him to the zoo."

The next day he saw the same lady with the same penguin and said, "I thought I told you to take him to the Zoo."

She said, "I did. He loved it. Today were going to Sunsplash." (Dellianna, age 9)

There was a guy in jail; he had a bat and a ball. How did he get out?

Three strikes your out! (Blair, age 9)

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. To prove he wasn't chicken. (Noey, age 9)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.....

Why did the bubblegum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Once there was a magic mirror, and when you told it a lie you would get sucked in.

Well, the brunnete said, "I think I am the prettiest girl in the world." She got sucked in.

The red head said, "I think I have the best hair in the world." She got sucked in.

The blond said, "I think..." and she got sucked in! (Carol, 12)

Where were the french fries invented?

In Greece. (Katie, age 9)

Why couldn't the eleven year old pirate get in the movie?

Because it was rated ARRRRRRR. (Katie, age 9)

David: "Sally, you're stupid."

David's mum: "Say you're sorry, David."

David: "I'm sorry you're stupid, Sally." (by Antonia)

What did the ghost say to her class?

Watch the board and I'll go through it again. (Gina, age 7)

What is a shark's favorite game?

Swallow the leader. (Aaron, age 8)

What did one hotdog say to the other hotdog?

Hi, Frank! (Anthony, age 5)

Riddle: A man took his horse out for a ride every day. Two of the horses legs ran 5 miles but the other two ran 6 miles! How is that possible?

The horse was running in circles! (Connor, age 10)

Q. How do you hire a horse?

A. Put four bricks under him! (Zara, age 11)

What do you give to birds when they are ill?

A tweetment.

How much do pirates pay for their earrings?

Buccaneer. (Celia, age 12)

What key doesn't fit in a key hole?

A monkey. (Katie, age 12)

What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?

Stop going in circles and get to the point! (Brian, age 11)

Q: Why are fish so smart?

A: Because they live in schools. (Kia, age 10)

Q. What flower grows on your face?

A. Tulips. (Trina, age 11)

What's a snake's favourite football team?

Sliverpool. (Aleksa, age 9)

Why did the skeleton go to the party on his own?

Because he had no body to go with! (Corine, age 10)

What dress you can't wear?

An address! (Kristine, age 10)

What happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?

She had mittens (Trevor, age 9)

Why do you never see giraffes in colleges?

Because they only go to high schools!! (Daryan, age 11)

What do you call a very popular perfume?

A best-smeller. (Candi, age 9)

What's Snow White's brother's name?

Egg White.

Get the yolk? (Jenna, age 8)

Why did the scientist have a wet head?

'Cause he was having a brainstorm! (Jenna, age 8)

A teacher asked a boy, "Where's your homework?"

The boy says, "I made it into a paper plane and someone hi-jacked it." (From Samuel, age 11)

What do you get if you cross a lamb with a kangaroo?

A wooly Jumper. (Larissa, age 11)

What's in the middle of a jellyfish?

A jellybutton. (Bart, age 9)

What do you call a cat eating a pickle?

Sour Puss. (Channing, age 5)

What do you give sick lemons?

Lemonade! (Terri-Ann, age 9)

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He had no guts. (Mallory, age 10)

Why is Cindarella so bad at baseball?

Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she runs away from the ball!

How do you stop a dog from barking in the back garden?

Put it in the front. (Sg, age 9)

What is green and goes red in a flick of a switch?

A frog in a food proccessor. (Oliver and Claire)

Why is 6 scared of 7?

Because 7 ate 9! [Syafiqah, age 9]

What's black and white and noisy?

A zebra with a drum. (Ceilidh, age 6)

Who's the boss of the hankies?

The hankie chief! (Anna, age 9)

What did Snow White say while she was waiting for her pictures to develop?

Some day my prints will come! (Chloe, age 8)

Why is "t" so inportant to a stick insect?

Because without it, it would be a sick insect! [Chloe and Jake]

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