White Elephant

An old farmer is tending his crop one day when he spies a white elephant trampling the edge of his field. He knows that there are four different types of elephants in his area: red elephants, blue elephants, purple elephants, and white elephants.

To kill a blue elephant you use a blue elephant gun, to kill a red elephant you use a red elephant gun, and to kill a purple elephant you use a purple elephant gun. However scientists haven't been able to create a white elephant gun. So what could the farmer do?

Well the farmer had been working his land for 50 years, so he knew some tricks. One thing was that white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

So one morning the farmer goes out to the patch of ground where the white elephant was before and set out a cherry cheesecake with ten cherries arranged in a circle, and then retreated to his house to watch. The white elephant soon came across the offering and was overjoyed; it happily gobbled it up because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next morning the farmer left out a cheesecake, but this time it only had nine cherries on top, this time in a star pattern. When the white elephant found the cherry cheesecake it was delighted, and quickly ate it without noticing that there was one less cherry (white elephants can't count well past 5) because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next morning the farmer left out a cheesecake with seven cherries on it, in the shape of a light bulb. The white elephant subconsciously senses that there is less of a cherry flavour, but it doesn't really notice because it's very lucky for there to be a cheesecake in the same spot three days in a row. It eats the cheesecake because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next morning the farmer sets out a cheesecake with six cherries in a semi circle. The white elephant is beginning to think that something is wrong, because it definitely seems like there is something off about it. The elephant eats it anyway because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next day the farmer put out a cheesecake with five cherries on it in a pentagon. The white elephant knows for sure that something is wrong because it can count to 5, and there used to be more than that. It grunts and waves its trunk around a little, but still eats it because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next morning the farmer set out a cheesecake with just four cherries arranged in a square. The elephant is beginning to get upset about its dwindling cherries, but it eats it anyway because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next morning the farmer left out a cheesecake with only three cherries arranged in a triangle. The elephant has now grown furious, so it storms out away from the farmer's field into his neighbor's, which the elephant proceeds to trample and destroy. Then, having cooled down a little it returns and eats the cheesecake, because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next morning the farmer put out a cheesecake with two cherries. The elephant is again so furious that it angrily runs off and destroys the neighbor's house and crushes his car. Then it comes back because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

The next morning the farmer sets out a cheesecake with only one cherry, stuck right in the center. The elephant is in full rage mode, and it goes to the neighbor's house. Since his house was destroyed the neighbor was living in a tent. The elephant trampled the tent and crushed him to death. Then it came and begrudgingly ate the cheesecake because white elephants love cherry cheesecake.

On the final day the farmer changes things up a little. Instead of cherries, he covers it in slices of pears. When the white elephant saw this it couldn't believe its eyes. White elephants HATE pears! They despise pears! And there was no cherry cheesecake! The white elephant was just so angry, just so full of rage that it couldn't even move. It just stood there and turned purple with rage and the farmer shot it with the purple elephant gun.

Submitted by: Rob

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